


Equillibrium

by OrganizedChaos666



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dark, F/M, Original Character(s), Romance, The Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-24 13:33:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13214799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrganizedChaos666/pseuds/OrganizedChaos666
Summary: In which Snoke becomes suspicious of Kylo Ren and gives a young woman orders to discover his true  loyalties after learning of their friendship. Catherine is ordered to get close to the man who she once knew as Ben Solo: her dear friend and in doing so may capture his heart, or break it.





	1. Temper

**Author's Note:**

> This begins slightly before the events of TFA

While most people walked through the halls of the Finalizer with a purpose, I normally wandered through them distractedly and instead questioned my place in the First Order. Years ago I had stood alongside Ben Solo and bade him a tearful farewell when he went off to train under Luke Skywalker to become a Jedi, but it was not long after that Ben returned to inform me of his betrayal and that of his master. It was not a particularly long conversation and it did not take long for his intentions to become entirely clear to me. Despite my usually strong moral compass, I could not force myself to allow my friend to face Snoke alone and instead I joined the order with him.

We both rose through the ranks easily, although I had more trouble seeing as he was Snoke's apprentice. Despite this, I did not envy him as I knew the precarious position he was put in each and every time he met with his dark master. I had a rising suspicion that I was a force user myself, but knew to keep it to myself while aboard this ship or anywhere near the First Order.

Over the years I watched helplessly as Ben evolved into Kylo Ren, a version of himself I had never known existed. The truly frightening aspect was that I felt myself embracing the dark side alongside him. In my time here I had become a killer, but luckily had avoided Kylo's fate of becoming more machine than human.

Now as I wandered the halls aimlessly, I was able to mull over what I had become during my time here and wonder what had become of Leia and the other members of the rebellion. Before I could dig too deeply into that, I ran into our resident red headed psychopath.

"General," I greeted, standing tall and abandoning my previous train of thought.

"Ren is in the process of wreaking havoc on an engineering room down the hall. I expect you to stop his tantrum."

His statement elicited a low chuckle from me, and caused me to shoot him a piercing glare.

"I do not wish myself a fiery death at the end of his saber. Why don't you do it, General?" I hissed, crossing my arms in annoyance.

The embarrassment that flashed across his face made it clear that he had already tried and failed to complete the task in question. 

"Do it, or shall I report to Snoke that Ren has regressed into a whiny brat?" he threatened, his cold gaze attempting to intimidate me.

"Wish you had given me time to write a will," I muttered sarcastically before walking down the hall in the direction of the telltale whirring of a lightsaber.

My confidence sank at a record speed as I approached the open door of the room in which Kylo resided. The door itself was nearly entirely destroyed, as the man's saber had cut a chunk out of it large enough for me to walk through. A soft sigh fell from my lips as Kylo continued to hack at the control panel mercilessly.

"Kylo," I called out cautiously from the entrance

I raised my hands in surrender as he turned around and held his saber towards me threateningly. My breath caught in my throat as he raised a shaky hand in my direction and lifted me off the ground with pressure on my throat.

"Kylo," I repeated, a scolding tone finding its way into my voice as I was helplessly carried into the room and closer to the fuming masked man.

I watched skeptically as he gently lowered me to the ground, careful not to drop me as harshly as he had in the past. Despite the thoughtful action, I prepared for him to lunge in my direction and swing at me with the saber. My hand twitched at the thought of grabbing the lightsaber from my belt and using it for protection, but I decided against it and instead watched the dark form of my friend curiously.

"Damn that ginger Hitler," I cursed under my breath, hoping that Hux had not sent me to my death.

"Why are you here?" Kylo's altered voice questioned.

"Why are you destroying another control room?" I retorted, crossing my arms and staring into his eyes through the helmet.

To my surprise, the man turned off his saber and returned it to its place on his belt. I let out a breath I was unaware that I had been holding and allowed myself to relax before holding a hand out to Kylo welcomingly.

"Walk with me?" I offered.

"No."

I rolled my eyes at his childish behavior, but apparently he was not done.

"In my room, more private," he explained, staring at my hand through his mask but not making any move to accept it.

I nodded curtly and returned my hand to my side before gesturing to the door.

"After you," I sighed.


	2. Relax

The trek to Kylo's chambers was uneventful, but still managed to set me on edge. The fear of the man losing his grip on his emotions kept the umuscles of my arms tense for the entire walk. Only when we finally reached and entered the room did I relax. Once inside, I turned to face him properly.

 

"Could you ditch that ridiculous mask?" I sighed, staring at him helplessly.

 

My body tensed once again as he walked towards me, almost robotically. It was as if the body of Kylo was on autopilot.

 

"You have nothing to hide from me Ben."

 

"Ben is gone. I thought you were smart enough to realize that by now," he snarled, now only mere inches from me.

 

"Ben is not gone. That mask only hides your identity, it does not change it. Now, please remove it so I can talk to my friend instead of this piece of metal," I retorted calmly, my eyes searching the dark holes in his helmet where his eyes were hidden.

 

His breathing quickened, the mask exaggerating it as he visibly shook. I bit back a sour remark and instead placed my hand on his shoulder. My eyes continued to search for any sort of reaction but found nothing until a few minutes had passed and he reached for the lock of his helmet.

 

"Hello there," I smiled sweetly, taking in his pointed features once the mask was thrown on to his mattress across the room.

 

The man's dark eyes seemed to soften if only slightly at my greeting, and he nodded in response. I took the time to stare at the man shamelessly for a moment, and noticed dark rings under his eyes as well as a stray strand of hair sticking to his forehead. 

 

After only a moment of contemplation, I slowly extended my hand to shift the hair back into place, stroking it once to keep it from returning to its previous location on Kylo's forehead.

 

"There," I said proudly, standing on my toes to wrap my arms around him in a quick hug.

 

"Why haven't you be sleeping?" I questioned, not releasing him from my grasp until another moment of silence had passed.

 

I pulled away and waited for an answer, watching his expression intently.

 

"My dreams don't tend to be pleasant," he replied dryly.

 

I sighed sadly and gestured to his bed.

 

"May I sit?" I asked.

 

He gave a curt nod in response and surprised me by sitting beside me on the mattress.

 

"You should not be going to hostile planets while sleep deprived. Not to mention, your temper is ridiculous as it is. There is no need to increase the likelihood of another episode," I said, choosing my words carefully.

 

Evidently, the message went across because Kylo began pulling at his shirt beside me to rid himself of it.

 

I averted my gaze as his torso was revealed, doing my best to keep from staring shamelessly.

 

"What?" 

 

His deep voice made me jump slightly and return my attention to the now shirtless man beside me. I raised an eyebrow but said nothing, instead choosing to pull the blanket down to urge him to climb under.

 

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" he asked monotonously, but his eyes conveyed slight amusement despite his attempts to appear emotionless.

 

"Just go to bed Ren," I replied with a roll of my eyes.

 

 

A smirk crossed Kylo's face for only a moment, but he slipped under the blankets obediently nevertheless. I smiled in response and went to leave, only for something invisible to hold me in place.

 

I sent a questioning glance at Ben but knew better than to argue and instead shifted my weight so that I could sit more comfortably, using the headboard to lean against. Once I sat beside the raven haired man, he waved his hand lazily and the room went dark.

 

"Goodnight Ben, I will stay until you fall asleep," I informed, relaxing against the headboard in an attempt to find a comfortable position.

 

I heard him give a small grunt in response before his baritone voice rang out through the darkness.

 

"Goodnight Catherine"


	3. Weakness

Once Kylo was asleep, I waited a while before creeping to my own room and laid down to rest. Unfortunately, it was not long after my head hit the pillow that a knock sounded on my door. With a quiet groan, I rolled off of my mattress and walked over to the source of the noise.

 

"This is General Hux with orders from Supreme Leader Snoke," the voice informed as I unlocked the door.

 

My eyes rolled to the back of my head in annoyance, the rest of my body too tired to respond. A sigh left my lips as Hux walked into the room, closing the door behind him. I stared at the frazzled man tiredly before taking a seat on my bed with a huff and crossing my arms.

 

"Why so late?" I groaned.

 

"More so early, Hamirez," he responded curtly, eyes glittering with slight amusement at my glare.

 

"What is it?" I sighed, leaning against the wall for support.

 

"You will no longer be accompanying Ren on his journey to the village of Tuanal today. Snoke requests your presence promptly," he responded, sending a shiver down my spine at the thought of confronting the Supreme Leader.

 

I nodded at him stiffly before ushering him out of my room. When we reached the door, the general turned back towards me with an eyebrow raised quizzically.

 

"What were you doing in Ren's room so late?" he questioned.

 

My mind began to race, but I did not allow any signs of my surprise to find their way onto my features. My gaze darkened as the man began to smirk knowingly, as though he knew anything.

 

"Discussing matters that I believe to be none of your business, goodbye Hux. You should get some sleep," I responded, shutting the door and changing into more presentable clothes before heading for the room in which Snoke and I could converse.

 

My boots hit the cold floor of the Finalizer quietly while most occupants slept peacefully in their rooms. As I marched down the halls, my mind began to wander as it attempted to find out the reasoning behind the Supreme Leader's summons. It was all too soon when I stood before the door, behind which Snoke's hologram would surely be waiting. My legs shook slightly as a cool breeze flowed through the now open doorway, and my eyes locked on the pale figure before me. The hologram sat nonchalantly, but his dark eyes were enough to engender fear from any who encountered him. 

 

"Supreme Leader," I greeted, bowing my head in respect.

 

The man nodded in return, and my mind quickly blanked in an attempt to evade any emotions while in the presence of such a monstrous figure. 

 

"Hux has informed me that my apprentice has been stirring up trouble, and that you are close to him in such a way that allows you to calm him without meeting the edge of his saber. I have yet to discover the reasons for his childish tantrums, but I believe I may have an idea. Is Ren longing for the light, Catherine?"

 

The powerful voice resonated throughout the room, despite it originating from a mere holographic image. The temperature of the room fell more than a few degrees in an instant as he finished his question. My eyes flicked up to meet his, and I mustered the strength to hold his gaze within my own.

 

"I am unaware of any affiliation Ren may feel to the light, he has never shown any signs of interest in it," I responded carefully.

 

Snoke glared down at me menacingly, and reached out with his hand. My body stiffened as his mind intruded my own, and I was able to resist just long enough to hide memory of the previous night to a certain extent. I hid all mention of his true name, and left only the memory of him removing his mask and me staying at his side until he fell into a peaceful sleep. Fortunately, he skimmed over it briefly before instead searching the earlier memory of Kylo destroying the engineering room. The Supreme Leader's annoyance and amusement flooded my mind through our bond at his apprentice's childish actions before he retracted his presence fully.

 

"You will continue your relationship with Ren. Get close to him so that if he is becoming weak, you will be aware. He has learned to hide things from me, so you must find a way to make him trust you by any means necessary."

 

My chin jerked in a curt nod as the man continued to stare down at me expectantly.

 

"If he does feel a calling to the light?" I asked cautiously, clenching my own hand behind my back.

 

The Supreme Leader's eyes darkened cruelly, and he leaned back against his chair. 

 

"He will be disposed of," he drawled before flickering out of sight, leaving me to stand and shiver in the large room alone.


End file.
